A season of...

This time of year is filled with anticipation about spending time with family and friends or shopping to find the best discounts.  It also can be filled with grief and anxiety about missing loved ones who have passed on or other memorable events that deal with loss.  In both instances the emotions are high.  If spending time with family it's usually over a good meal, music, fun and creating lasting joyful memories.  If grieving the loss of loved ones it can send a person into a pit of further grieving.  

Today I had the day off and decided to go for a short walk.  During the walk I started thinking about the various posts on social media about the holiday season.  There was a range from missing the dearly departed, not celebrating holidays for religious, political or cultural reasons, post election experiences, and thoughts about Black Friday.  And last but not least there were those post about family members not talking to other family members or not feeling in the holiday spirit for a variety of reasons.  This lead to going further down the rabbit hole to find that some didn't feel up to cooking, some felt liberated from cooking and some wanted to try a different banquet style menu or have their feast on the weekend.  

photo source: https://pixabay.com/en/erika-arrangement-autumn-decoration-1824826/

The reasons ran the gamut of weighing on either the positive, neutral or negative side of the scale. This had me thinking about what can I do personally to rid myself of any real or imagined reasons for not feeling included or excluded in this season. 

I am not a big fan of celebrating holidays if it only entails shopping for expensive gifts.  But I do enjoy spending time with family and friends that I may not otherwise get to spend time with.  It is also a time where the weather is very beautiful if experiencing a fresh fall of snow not necessarily the cold.  I also like the beautiful lights and festive decorations seen around town.  It gives one a pleasant experience that stimulates the senses.  

I thought to myself as I was on the walk about how painful these experiences can also be and to not take them lightly. People are suicidal at this time of year.  Others suffer from depression.  While others may just not feel connected to the season at all.  This brought to mind how powerful the human connection is.  It also had me thinking of what lengths we could possibly consider going through that would make us feel more connected to ourselves and others. 

 Whether enjoying this season basking in it's grandeur or from afar, it speaks volumes on the importance of what is valuable in our lives.   The human connection cannot be undervalued.  I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone or fear zone.  Reach out to someone who you may have been avoiding.  Reach out to someone who you assumed does not want to talk to you or is holding a grudge against you.  Reach out to a relative that you may have dismissed over a big family issue but want to rekindle the bond you once had.  If invited for a meal, whether it is your favorite banquet style spread or a simple yet elegant meal, go for it. 

 My point is I hope to encourage you to take the first step in healing some of the distance and patching up some open wounds that have been created so that you may feel the love you want to give or receive.  Of course taking action is your call and always will be.  But just for today, I hope you at least think about it.  

Giving thanks, 

Yvette

* this post also appears on my other social media pages

Let nature heal you

How does your living space or daily environment support healing or health? Look around.  Is it cluttered? Are there any natural scenes of just concrete and noise pollution? How do you relieve stress? Yoga... or perhaps stress relieving medication? Perhaps you draw or paint.  But there is a simple and free, that's right, free method to help you heal. 

These questions provided a start of how my daily lack of exposure to natural environs can affect my mood in the worst way.  Utne Reader published an article from Deb Aronson of Science & Spirit 2003 noting a study done on children living in Robert Taylor Holmes apartments in Chicago, IL.  The study suggested that they would find children stressed out because of the challenges that come with living there.

 “Our theory was that public housing is a very fatiguing environment,” says Faber Taylor. “It turns out that small amounts of greenery seem to make a big difference. You don’t have to live in Sherwood Forest to enjoy nature's benefits.” (utne.com)

But the exposure that the children had to trees from a window view on the second, third or fourth floor seemed to benefit from nature.  

image source:https://pixabay.com/en/landscape-spring-wood-scenic-green-403165/

Ralph Smart, psychologist, also notes in a brief video on healing, the importance of getting out into nature as a form of healing.  In the video he is at the ocean and talks about the therapeutic effect of water. 

I could use a dose of nature therapy.  I'll pass on camping out in the woods, but a nice walk along the shore of a nearby river always does me good. 

Lastly, there is a great website, calm.com. that uses the sounds in nature to help with calming.  I like to use it when I am having trouble sleeping.  The serene natural environs of trees, water, rain, etc all help me doze off effortlessly in a matter of minutes from tuning in.  

Ralph Smart

 https://youtu.be/LyG9Qhr3RdI

How nature heals us

 http://www.utne.com/environment/hownaturehealsus.aspx?PageId=1#ArticleContent

Serenity Prayer

image source:alisetterodriguez.blogspot.com

Sometimes when faced with difficulty or challenges, it is hard to find the words to pray.  Here is a simple and familiar prayer that I would like to encourage you to use if you are at a loss for words to pray. 

Self-care

Self-care used to be one of those topics that I didn't know of but found out that I practiced frequently.  I found myself happier, more rested, and balanced in every area of my life.

Right now I am experiencing burn out.  I try to practice some self-care but scheduling the "me" time seems like more work.  This needs to change and will change. Scheduling "me time" will be a priority.

image source: https://pixabay.com/en/gear-mechanics-wheels-transmission-408364/

                                                                                         There is a self -care wheel from OlgaPhoenix that suggests we have 6 areas on the wheel.  The areas are physical, professional, psychological, emotional, spiritual and personal.  Within each area there are several examples of what self care looks like. Upon closer reflection I will need to revisit the wheel and start again in order to relieve burnout. I hope you join me on the journey of self-care. 

For more information on the self-care wheel see http://the-psychology-blog.tumblr.com/post/80565755635/therapybros-becauseiamawoman-the-self-care

Color Therapy

image source:https://pixabay.com/en/art-therapy-therapeutic-discipline-230045/

Wearing white for a wedding and black for a funeral is symbolic of the mood the wearer should feel for the occasion.  Similarly wearing other colors can boost our mood.  Have you walked into a room where the walls were painted blue and felt a sense of calm?  Well this same feeling can be achieved by the colors we wear.  African clothing is very brightly colored.  I'm inspired to wear colors for the occasion and mood I'm in.  Rarely do I wear black, but it is a color that I wear year round paired with a lighter color.  Brown tones and grays are great for fall and winter.  Perhaps you will add some new colors to your wardrobe this year. Maybe you have never worn African inspired clothing but always wanted to. Get in some last minute light weight summer wear. Check out some African clothing and fabrics at the links on the right margin. =====>

Hair, Head and Heart

I had the pleasure of talking with Mary Reed, the host of Hair, Head and Heart.  Mary is a hair stylist and expert in hair care. Her show features guests with discussion on all things related to the topic of hear.  "It is a safe zone for all ages, textures and backgrounds to explore issues related to hair". (hair, head & heart)

The show is broadcast on AM 1570 Wellness Radio in Minnesota every Saturday at 3pm. It is available on podcasts as well, along with other wellness shows.  Find out more here http://twincitieswellnessradio.com/content/all/podcasts
To reach Mary, email hairheadheart@gmail.com

The healing properties of black seed oil

Black seed also known as Nigella Sativa has been used as a flavoring and Arabic, Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine. According to The American Journal of Chinese Medicine, it has the components "thymoquinone, thymohydroquinone, dithymoquinone, thymol, carvacrol, nigellimine-N-oxide, nigellicine, nigellidine and alpha-hederin".  It also has antihypertensive, antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory as well as anti-cancer properties.

I use black seed oil for allergies.  A few times during the year, I go through bouts of sneezing, sore throats, and sniffing.  I take 1 dose of black seed oil (1 tablespoon) twice a day and in a few hours the allergies are gone.  As a school teacher this is also important for me to have in my regimine to keep me from being sick which will lead to absence from my students.

If you are curious and want to give black seed oil a try just know that it has a strong earthy taste sort of like turpentine. Depending on the manufacturer it varies in color from light brown to a deep rich dark brown.  The taste range to from a mild earthy taste to a strong taste.  To cope with this you can add a little pure honey and little freshly squeezed lemon or citron lime juice to your tablespoon quantity.

Prophet Mohamed was know for saying that black seed was a remedy for everything except death. A search on the web will give you a multitude of ailments that black seed oil can help with. There are 833 medical articles regarding the healing properties of this natural remedy.  To find our more go to http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=nigella%20sativa .



referenceThe American Journal of Chinese Medicine can be found at the following link.  

Read More: http://www.worldscientific.com/doi/abs/10.1142/S0192415X1100941X

image source: https://pixabay.com/en/nigella-black-cumin-oil-fixed-oil-216510/

A little poetry for you

This is a poem I wrote in 2011 after I was invited to share my skills and gifting with students. It was a season in my life where I was trying to sort out the next steps professionally. The timing couldn't have been more perfect to share.  I hope it encourages you.

Acceptance

Being too high for mountains
Being too low for valleys
Looking for a soft place to land
I found solace in the arms of an invitation.

It is also in my self published book of poetry. Check it out here http://www.lulu.com/shop/yvette-r-toko/breath-eyes-memory-in-me/paperback/product-22529331.html or click on the Literature tab at the right.

Aromatherapy scented candles

If you love fragrances and are looking for a way to unwind with aromatherapy, try scented candles.  These candles are 100% soy and mildly scented. Order here https://store9769054.ecwid.com/

Wedding Trends: Marriage tips with Yvette #1

Wedding Trends: Marriage tips with Yvette #1: This is a guest post by Yvette Toko Image from Life Changing Faith Now that you are happily married, I am sure you would...

Praying for Peace and Justice

The following is a post I wrote on Facebook in response to the various emotions that are flowing through me at this time. Seeing what is going on in our nation with Black people being murdered by law enforcement is very disturbing.

We pray, we protest, we sing, we cry, we dance, we enforce, we retreat, we kill, we are killed, we talk, we give birth, we make love, we fight, we mobilize, we vote,we expatriate, we bear arms, we revenge, we ignore, we unplug, we blame, we love, we hate, we get angry, we calm down, we go through all the motions of what we know is humanely right and respond accordingly, we just be who we be... and it still ain't enough. The invisible force still finds a way to seep in. On my Facebook page I posted a few musical selections that came to mind (there were many more) but I wanted to cover everyone with something that might speak to you and where you are at mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

image source:teepublic.com

There are better ways to do this. There has to be. Praying for Peace and Justice.

Healing words in lieu of all the shootings across America

With the increasing number of Blacks dying daily at the hands of law enforcement this has left society with a lot of unanswered questions coupled with pain and sorrow, sometimes on both sides.

There are no words that can truly fill in the brokenness. Yet, I will strive to offer comfort to those who mourn.

source:thegirlthatiwanttobe.wordpress.com

The Bible tells us for those that mourn, God will give us beauty for ashes. I'm here for you. Hugs. I sympathize with you. I stand with you. I know it's not enough.

Let's pray with our feet. Take action. Get involved. Offer comfort. Love on one another. Make changes. Offer support.

Lastly, there are no words to bring back the dearly departed. It also takes time to forgive and then a measure of healing can take place. Let us remember the names of those who we are standing in the gap for.